“Enormous ups to Gaucho and Irvine resident Jason Lezak for perhaps delivering the signature moment of the entire games in Beijing.

“Sure, Michael Phelps is a beast and is still on track for his 8 gold medals, but he’s not where he is without Lezak’s monster anchor leg in the 4 x 100 relay. Lezak ran down France’s Alain Bernard, who was the world record holder in the 100 free—the same Bernard who foolishly bumped his gums before the race saying the French would smash the Americans. If by smash, you mean get punked by and humiliated internationally by them, then I agree, you smashed the U.S.!

“Who do you think you are, talking that kind of junk to the U.S.?! More importantly, running that smack about a Gaucho! Remember these four letters, Bernard, U-C-S-B! Lezak is a Gaucho! Of course he ripped your heart out and shamed your entire nation! That’s what Gauchos do! They show up when it matters most. And, deliver life-altering performances. We’re Gauchos. That’s how we get down! And we don’t just let anyone in our pool.

“Doesn’t the French team do any scouting? Because if you did, you would have known we had a Gaucho in the final leg and you would have never run your mouth so recklessly and dangerously. From one Gaucho to another, Jason, unbelievable effort! The ultimate example of a guy manning up, running down a world record holder, from a body length back and closing the show with a gold!

“Now you all know what we’ve always known, when you need something and you need something done right, send in a Gaucho. Jason, when you get back, dinner on me at Javier’s in Crystal Cove!”

— Jim Rome on “Jim Rome Is Burning” on Aug. 12, 2008